Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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