someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
