the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
