I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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