I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
