I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
