you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
