y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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