If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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