i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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