Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
