I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize