I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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