I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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