Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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