In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
