if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
PANTIES FOUND
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