i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
