she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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