It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
