He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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