You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
