I wannas sexs uuuuu
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize