There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
