quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The power of my boobs compel you
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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