We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
