You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
