So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
