im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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