You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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