But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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