STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
