you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
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We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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