I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
