I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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