took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
