You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize