He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
