It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
