Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Welp...herpes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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