I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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