Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
