Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
