Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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