Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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