I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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