I'm going to jail i love you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
