HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
