Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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