Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
