Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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