Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
