She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
