My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
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I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
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And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink