whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts