i would punch a child for taco bell
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight