I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"