i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
