Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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