I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
FUCK WHALES
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
